(Gilmore Girls fan site)Premium Hollywood posted a chat with Krysten Ritter, who appeared as Lucy in season 7, and now appears on the indie series Woke Up Dead.
No more actual news this week, so instead I’ll hit you with a few Gilmore Girls mentions from around the blogosphere:
“Suzanne in Tajikistan” describes Twilight (the movie) as “like Rory Gilmore does Vampires - with BAD acting. Yikes!” (And that’s not a rag on GG, because she’s a fan, too.)
Jenn compares her life with Rory, in season 7, “lamenting having to act like ’a grown-up.’”
“Anonymously Famous” says she can’t read her sticky notes, either, just like Lorelai in (some episode I can’t think of right now, because my brain isn’t working right).
Sibylle sees she has a lot in common with the Gilmore girls.
And last but not least, check out what Kat did last Sunday. Kewl, huh?
-TimK
Lauren has been out and about promoting her role in the upcoming TV series Parenthood. Firstly, Lauren Graham appeared on Ellen, the video of which you can catch on YouTube.
She also chatted with Michael Ausiello on EW.com. Of the script, she says, “It’s the best thing I’ve read.” And of her character:
She’s a single mom, yes, but I don’t think the tone of the show is the same. The sound of Gilmore Girls, that voice, is so unique to Amy [Sherman-Palladino]. This show has its own voice. It’s a grown-up show, too. It doesn’t have some of the more whimsical elements of [Gilmore Girls]. It’s more realistic.
Of course, with Jason Katims as creator, Parenthood is still likely to be good. Looking forward to it after the Winter Olympics this season.
Alexis Bledel has been cast to appear in The Conspirator, a film about Mary Surratt, a woman who was arrested and charged with conspiracy to assassinate Abraham Lincoln. Mary Surratt is played by Robin Wright Penn, whom I remember as Jenny in Forrest Gump. Alexis will play the part of Catherine Morgan, wife of Frederick Aiken (James McAvoy), the lawyer who defended Surratt.
Who is Danny Pudi? He played Raj, one of the Yale Daily News staffers in season 7. This week, he briefly talked to The TV Addict about Gilmore Girls, working with Liza Weil, and other stuff.
Found this on Jenna B’s “Life” blog:
I’m watching Gilmore Girls and this guys nick name is Digger and it made me laugh so it became the title [of this blog post].
-TimK
This week’s episodes, from “The Fundamental Things Apply” through “Ted Koppel’s Big Night Out,” include some of my favorites. It’s funny; when season 4 first aired, I remember thinking how mediocre it was. But as it turns out, season 4 has an awful lot of classic episodes in it, and an awful lot of classic scenes.
But this week, watching the episodes reminds me of my life as a dating single. Like our girls, I was never very good at it.
Rory’s date with… uh… whathisface, in “The Fundamental Things Apply”… I can sympathize. In my time, I had my share of “bad dates,” both truly bad ones and just uneventful ones. I told of one or two in the Love-Idiot book, including one I also posted on my blog, of my worst date ever. But those were not really what Lorelai and Rory meant by “bad dates.”
What they meant was just dates without magic. Here’s one of mine, a story I haven’t told yet.
When I was in my late teens or early twenties, I asked this younger, blonde teenage girl from my church out to dinner. I took her to a hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant that I had remembered being a lot nicer than it was when we got there. But the food was okay, and the conversation was unobjectionable, if not memorable.
I asked her out again, although I didn’t know why, probably because I just enjoyed spending an easy-going time with someone of the opposite sex. And she accepted, probably because she liked me. I remember meeting her father, a short, uneventful meeting. At the end of the second date, I sensed that she wanted me to kiss her. But I just didn’t feel like it. (If you haven’t read the Love-Idiot book, maybe you now understand the “Idiot” part.) So I said goodnight, and that was that.
I even asked her out a third time, but she was smart enough to turn me down. It didn’t really bother me. I guess she just wasn’t my type. Glad she (younger than I) was smarter than I about it.
In “An Affair to Remember,” Lulu likes Kirk. Yes, that’s strange. As Lorelai points out in a later episode, Kirk was really lucky to find her.
I remember my first real girlfriend. I too thought it was weird that she liked me. At least Kirk didn’t sabotage his relationship with Lulu, like I frequently did when I found out a girl liked me. Yeah, Kirk tried. But Luke was there to set him straight.
That’s not to say that I didn’t also have good dates. I had a number of first dates that were fun and memorable. The most notable, of course, was my first date with Margaret. We started by going bowling, and I sucked at bowling, but we still had fun. Then we saw a movie together—neither of us remember which movie. Then we went out for a late dinner at a family, eggs-and-pancakes restaurant. The moment I remember the most is after I told Margaret about a problem I was having with my wrist, probably because of my poor posture at the computer at work. At the time, she was studying to be a physical therapist. I showed her my wrist, and she took my hand, so gently, and held it, and I wondered whether I could fall in love with this woman. Which I eventually did.
And then there are the “Ted Koppel’s Big Night Out”-ugly dates, like Lorelai and jason’s first. Don’t think I’ve ever had a date quite like that, refused at first, eventually accepted, went bad, then try again, then forget it, then finally saved. For me, if something went wrong, it always went wrong. And usually before step one.
For example, one woman that I had it bad for, I tried everything I knew to get her to go out with me, believing that if only I was persistent, she would eventually give me a chance. I tried sending her gifts, romantic cards and letters, flowers, all with very personal messages attached. I even tried being “just a friend,” in hopes that being close might cause her to reconsider. Instead, she said she didn’t trust me, because she couldn’t understand why I felt so strongly about her. I guess it wasn’t enough that I just did.
I guess Jason was lucky with Lorelai, because she didn’t get freaked out by his persistence.
What are some of your favorite dating stories?
The big news this week, via the Hollywood Reporter, is that Amy Sherman-Palladino is creating a new dramedy for HBO (which has no official title yet), about three adult sisters, all struggling writers, plus their domineering mother, who is a writing maven and who likes their good-for-nothing brother better than them.
“It’s a story of love, hate, family — and finding the perfect opening line,” Amy said. (Ba dum bum.)
Since this series involves “mother-daughter relationships” (as though you could pigeonhole the relationship between any mother and daughter into a simple category like that), some bloggers are already calling it “Gilmore Girls 2.0.” God, I hope not! And don’t you believe it. That’s just a marketing gimmick. I obviously love Gilmore Girls, but I also love Amy Sherman-Palladino’s originality and her ability to weave a story. This is a whole new cast of characters, with their own personalities and problems, and I’m looking forward and hoping that I’ll have an opportunity to enjoy immersing myself in this new story.
… as Sarah Braverman, a single mom with two teenaged kids who moves back in with her parents in Northern California, on NBC’s new series Parenthood, which will begin airing mid-season, after the Winter Olympics.
The show was originally supposed to be airing now, but Maura Tierney, who was originally cast for the role, had a medical issue that interfered with her ability to star in the show. At first, NBC held back the details of her condition, but then Maura herself revealed in July that she is fighting breast cancer. Still, everyone had hoped that she would be able to begin filming in November, but such was not to be. Maura Tierney and her doctors have a positive outlook for her cancer treatments, but she simply was unable to star in Parenthood at this time.
As I understand the story, executive producer Jason Katims (of Roswell and Friday Night Lights) began talking with Helen Hunt, as a possible star for the role, but they couldn’t come to a final deal. And that’s how Lauren Graham got the role. Whether Lauren was their first choice or their third, I frankly don’t care. I’m looking forward to seeing her on TV again, and I hope the role suits her.
Also starring Peter Krause, Craig T. Nelson, Dax Shepard, Bonnie Bedelia, Monica Potter, Erika Christensen and Sarah Ramos, Parenthood (the TV series) is supposedly based on the 1989 comedy movie of the same name. But really, the TV show has nothing to do with Parenthood (the movie), except that it’s about being part of a family. It’s about four adult siblings and their extended family. They could potentially have called it Brothers and Sisters, except that I think that name is already taken.
The title is LIfe as We Know It. The story is about two single friends, who become caregivers to an orphaned girl when their mutual best friends die in an accident. The planned release is around Christmas of 2010.
This is actually old news, but I finally got around to watching ABC’s Eastwick (online at Hulu). And yes, it is actually filmed in what used to be Stars Hollow. And it feels kinda like Stars Hollow, too, in some ways.
The show feels like Gilmore Girls meets Desperate Housewives meets Wonderfalls, with a little bit of Six Feet Under and The X-Files thrown in for good measure. Probably worth checking out, at least if you’re anything like I am. But I’m concerned that they may be relying too much on plot-based (procedural) elements for the serialized, continuing story, which ultimately chilled me on Desperate Housewives, instead of the deep character conflict that drove me to watch Gilmore Girls week after week.
It’s one of my favorite episodes, “A Tale of Poes and Fire”. Because it’s a tale of fresh starts in the lives of three of our characters.
Harvard, Princeton, and Yale. Oh my!
How to decide between the three? A pro-con list, of course!
Everybody knew the answer would come back “Harvard,” because Rory has been planning to go to Harvard since she was a little girl. Lorelai, however, was surprisingly agnostic about the list, even though she was the one who freaked out when Rory applied to Yale as one of her backups. I wonder how much of that agnosticism is true acceptance of the list. And how much is just support for Rory, because Lorelai knows that Rory feels so much better about her decisions, after she makes a pro-con list.
I get the impression that Rory was always ready for the answer to come back “Yale,” but she wasn’t ready for Lorelai to be ready for the answer to come back “Yale.” Not after Lorelai had birthed the idea of Rory going to Harvard, after they had spent their whole lives planning for Harvard, after they had spent dollars upon dollars on Harvard merchandise for Rory’s bedroom wall.
“But how can I go to Yale with my wall looking like this?”
Simple. You can’t. So change the wall.
Lorelai may not have known how she was going to handle the inn burning down, but she has always risen to the challenges she’s faced. Sometimes, I think she needs a challenge in order to really shine.
The Independence Inn means so much to Lorelai, she has never wanted to leave it. At one point, when Lorelai and Sookie began moving on their dream to own their own inn, Lorelai freaked out, because she realized it meant leaving the Independence Inn… and that Mia would sell it. Part of her, I think, still wants to hold on to the Independence, her old job, her old inn, her old home. They’ve essentially put their dreams on hold, which Fran made easier by refusing to sell them their dream property, the old Dragonfly.
But now the Independence has caught fire. This fire represents burning down the old, making way for the new. It will be several more episodes before Lorelai and Sookie can buy the Dragonfly, but I have to wonder whether Lorelai would have even jumped on that opportunity, had the Independance still been alive and well.
The first also represents a further challenge to Lorelai, because it takes away her steady income and her safety net, and throws her world into disarray. In the succeeding episodes, this all becomes crystal clear, as she even tells Sookie they can’t start their business, because she has no longer has investment capital. But that’s just a challenge, which Lorelai allows to work out for the best, even though it takes Rory going behind her back. (But that’s a different story.)
Lorelai hates to be out of control, but when circumstances are out of her control, that’s when she really shines.
“Little did I expect my demise would come this early.”
When life hits you hard, it’s possible to sink into depression. And that’s what Paris did, lying around all day, watching TV, blaming herself, dwelling on her sense of helplessness, disconnecting from the world. Black-and-white thinking: “There’s no alternative to Harvard.” If she can’t get into Harvard, her life is over. That’s depression.
Thank God for Rory, who pushed through to get her back up on her feet.
Every success came at the cost of devastating failure. You may have heard some of the stories.
And the examples go on and on. You can catch some more here and here.
-TimK
I admit, I like Jess. Or at least I sympathize with him. And in the end, I think he proved to be a better man than Dean.
This is what I was thinking while watching the recent episodes that are currently airing on ABC-Family, leading up to this week’s denouement (Friday afternoon) at the end of “They Shoot Gilmores, Don’t They?” All along, Jess has been taunting Dean, making friendly with Rory, and flaunting his blonde girlfriend Shane, whom Rory now inexplicably hates.
How could I possibly sympathize with such a kid?
Jess: the loner, the outlaw, the flunk-out, the troubled kid. “Every girl has to fall for a bad boy. It’s the rule.” But Jess isn’t actually a bad kid, because he’s not so troubled as much as he is confused. The only thing he knows for sure is that everyone demands of him that which makes him miserable. But he doesn’t really know yet what will make him happy. He will need to search for that answer, and suffer and fail, and finally make it. And that’s inspiring, because even though that’s all in the future, I can already see that process in full swing.
Jess and Lorelai have more in common that she realizes, and maybe that’s what scares her, that he might turn Rory into a young Lorelai. Thoughtful, headstrong, and independent, she had a baby at 16, forsook her parents, and made it on her own.
And Jess is smart, like Lorelai—not with book-smarts, but with head-smarts. And he’s clever, like Lorelai. And he’s independent, like Lorelai. And besides that, he reads Ayn Rand and gets Björk. And this smart, clever, independent, reader-destined-to-become-a-writer— And that’s something else I sympathize with, because I’m a writer, too, and I know what it’s like to be a writer and to think like a writer and to feel like a writer. This Jess is the one that Rory sees, that excites her and challenges her, that she is falling in love with.
I had my own Jess once, or rather, my own Lorelai. That’s another reason I sympathize with Jess.
When Luke—in a future episode—finally gives Jess an ultimatum, to repeat his Senior year and graduate, or else to get out and live or die on his own…
These are the moments that define a person’s life. No matter how he chooses, he will have grown. That doesn’t mean he’ll succeed. He may fail, and in fact will fail, miserably. Remember the episode with Liz’s wedding, in which Luke finds him sharing a cramped apartment (probably illegally) with several other guys, and delivering packages for pocket change?
But that’s all part of the process. Jess needs to find himself. And before he will do that, he needs to look. And that’s what he’s doing now, looking for himself, searching for purpose and meaning.
In the process, he’s going to make lots of idiotic mistakes, and he will no doubt regret some of them. Especially the ones where he hurts Rory. I know I made similar mistakes. (See the Love-Idiot book.) I think we all have, any of us who have found meaning in life.
But eventually he does find himself. He never becomes rich, as far as we know, never finishes high school, never goes to college. But he finds purpose, and confidence, and satisfaction, and inner peace. And he doesn’t have to destroy a marriage to do it.
That’s what finally gets me about Dean. Yeah, as a teenager, he comes off as tall and handsome and confident and responsible, and he is. “The Deans of the world always get the Lindsays.” But Dean didn’t really have to make a life-changing decision until his marriage hit the rocks. And I feel bad for Lindsay, because she would have done almost anything for her husband. (Anything except share him with a mistress.) And Dean should have reciprocated, because that’s what love is all about. (Again, see Love-Idiot book.)
But that’s all in the future. For now, it’s hard to sympathize with Jess, despite the way Rory feels about him. But I still do. And hopefully now you understand a little better why I do.
-TimK
Just a quick administrative note that I’ve removed a bunch of what seem like spam comments, and blocked a bunch of what seem like spam accounts, on Gilmore-ism.com. Since I’m beginning to post more to the site, I’m looking to upgrade the software. But for now, I’m just doing it all manually. If I accidentally blocked your account, and you’re not a spammer, please contact me and let me know, and I’d be happy to fix it.
-TimK
Continuing from the last post about how Gilmore Girls portrays business reality, with Wednesday morning’s episode (“The Ins and Outs of Inns”).
This really is what it’s like to start a new business.
“I figured,” Luke said, “I had to just dive in on my own, fail if that’s my destiny, and forget about what the experts say.”
“That is exactly my philosophy,” replied Lorelai. “Exactly. Except I’m not diving in on my own; I’m diving in with Sookie. And failure is not even a choice of destinies. And I’m consulting any expert who’ll listen to me. Otherwise, it’s identical.”
Actually, either approach will work. So long as you take ownership of the result. But there are indeed successful entrepreneurs in both categories.
Remember Michel’s nay-saying? His kind are a real downer, and Lorelai and Sookie did the right thing to ignore him.
Very realistic! There will always be nay-sayers to tell you how stupid you are to start a new business. But you can’t listen to them. Rather, you have to surround yourself with supportive people, who can help you see how to succeed, not to encourage you to give up or fail.
“Most new businesses go down within 2 years.” Actually, that’s a myth, but one that’s common, especially among the nay-sayers. The only way you can even get close to that figure is if you include businesses whose owners sold out (and got rich in the process) and those who closed up shop, even though they were making money, because they wanted to do something else (maybe even start a different business).
“I say if we go down after 2 years, it’ll be the most exciting 2 years of our lives!” I love this line, and it appears twice in the episode. Yeah, there are reasons not to start your own business, but I can’t seem to think of any of them right now.
Mia said to Lorelai, “That inn is like your place now,” referring to the Independence Inn, which Lorelai manages. See, even though she’s not the owner, she’s already developed all the skills. And Mia didn’t even know at the time that Loreali and Sookie wanted to start their own inn. Starting their own place is the next logical step for them.
Again, people who start successful businesses already know something about the business before they go into the business… That is, they’ve already developed the skills they need, because they have a passion for the line of work they’re in.
So Lorelai finds out that after she’s left to start her new business, Mia wants to sell the Independence Inn, and that Mia’s just been hanging on to it for Lorelai’s sake. I guess that’s too much change, too fast for Lorelai. She needs to hold on to the past, needs to feel stable, in control. As it turns out, Lorelai will need circumstances to force her to quit the Independence Inn and get going on her own thing. (But that’s in a future episode.) Even with all her skill and talent, she hangs on to what is, rather than looking forward to what could be.
Again, there’s some truth to this, because while some entrepreneurs jump out fearlessly, far more it seems need to be laid off, or even fired from their old jobs, before they fulfill the quest of their own destiny.
In a moment of desperate emotion, Lorelai scolds Sookie, saying, “This is business. You’ve got to stay detached.” Ouch!
And it’s not exactly true, either. Yes, you need to remain detached from any given task or tactic, because you need to be prepared to shift gears if you need to. That’s part of the flexibility that you need to have to run a new, growing business. But at the same time, you must throw your whole self into your vision, must become emotionally invested in it, because that’s the only way you’ll be able to justify all the work you’ll put into it. You sure as hell ain’t doin’ it for the money!
Of course, this is true of any great worker in any field. Great workers work for the love of what they do, not for the money. (The money is just a necessary perk. But that’s another blog post.)
Lorelai also scolds Sookie, that she can’t be a perfectionist. Yes, that’s true, because you’ll need to try new things, and when you try new things—by definition—they’re not yet perfect.
But Lorelai was still wrong to say it. Because what characterizes Sookie is not perfectionism, but excellence. And excellence is something you especially need in a new business. Even at the Independence Inn, she has to deal with unexpected surprises. Remember the dried-out lettuce from “Like Mother, Like Daughter”? She and Lorelai handled that situation without wasting anything and without missing a beaat and without lowering Sookie’s culinary standards. High standards are what make Sookie a great chef, because she can meet those standards, even on a budget.
Another reason Lorelai thinks they should slow down on starting their new inn: “The economy right now…”
Ha! I love this line, because it’s one of the great myths of starting a business. First of all, you can say that at any time, because the economy is constantly going up, down, around, back and forth, and wibble-wobble. There’s always something to grouse about when it comes to the economy, always some reason why you think it’ll be better to start your business tomorrow.
But more to the point, most new businesses are started during recessions, because there’s less risk, due to layoffs, because during a recession is when circumstances are forcing economic adjustment and innovation to occur.
Sookie sees their vision, and she thought that Lorelai saw it too, because they were both on the ball, but now she feels like Lorelai has jumped off the ball, and Sookies still on the ball trying not to fall off. A funny line, yes, but also profound, because she’s talking about their shared vision.
Vision is so important, to have a vision and to be able to see it, for two reasons: Firstly, that vision will show you where you’re going, because it shows you your destination. Secondly, that vision will inspire and sustain you, because it excites your positive imagination of what you’re creating. And to have a shared vision is even more powerful, because the inspiration from each person feeds back on itself, increasing exponentially… At least until one of them freaks out.
“There is no button to push,” Luke tell Lorelai, “to get you through this. You’ve just got to jump in and be scared and stick with it until it gets fun.”
Again, oh so realistic. That’s exactly right. You’re going to run into hyper-scary situations, and you know you’re on good footing, but in the back of your mind is this little, black voice whispering, “But what if I fall? Oh shit! What if I fall?!” And you know that you’re not going to fall, and if you do, you’re wearing a safety harness, and if that fails, there’s a safety net under you, and if that rips, the ground is covered with mountains of soft hay. But you’re afraid of heights, so you just have to barrel through until you reach the other side. That’s the only way to get through.
Yes, one of the reasons I love Gilmore Girls is because of the realistic character interactions and development, which provides a level of depth too frequently lacking from fiction. There’s always a profound insight, or an inspirational point to take away from the story.
-TimK
Specifically, from today’s episodes, “Like Mother, Like Daughter” (on ABC-Family this morning) and “The Ins & Outs of Inns” (in the afternoon, and again tomorrow morning). I discovered numerous truths about starting a new business from these two episodes, because these episodes tell the story of how Lorelai and Sookie decided to start their own business.
As you recall, they discovered the old Dragonfly Bed & Breakfast, now abandoned and falling apart, when Rachel photographed it in the first season. This was the spark they needed to ignite their enthusiasm for their collective dream, to start their own inn.
Actually, I didn’t learn much about business from Gilmore Girls that I didn’t know before. But because Gilmore Girls, like all good fiction, reflects real life, it’s busting with vivid object lessons. Because when you’re starting a new business, it really is just like it was for Lorelai and Sookie, when they decided to open a new inn.
Here’s what I mean:
In “Like Mother, Like Daughter,” the first object lesson I noticed actually had nothing to do with business per se. Paris, as you recall, has been intense hot and cold with Rory ever since they met. Of late, she’s been hating Rory for no good reason and abusing all of her influence to make Rory as miserable as possible. Now, however, that Rory has fallen in with the Puffs—and I don’t know how they can take themselves seriously with a name like that—Paris is falling over herself to be sweet and vulnerable, so that Rory will put in a good word.
See, now, Paris should have been nurturing favors with Rory all along, rather than insisting on being Rory’s enemy, because now she needs a favor in return. And if it were anyone else, she wouldn’t have a chance in hell. Fortunately for her, though…
It’s Rory, the biggest softie on the planet. Paris at least was smart enough to jump at the opportunity, proving that even she hates you, she’ll become your friend as soon as you have something that she wants.
Lorelai already realizes how important this is in business. Just look at how adeptly she handles Michel. Just offer him his lowCHH-fat Américan cheeze (and a meringue cookieCHH), and he’ll make a special trip out to pick you up for work.
The same thing happens in business-customer and employer-employee relationships. Of course, Lorelai already has been trained well by her experience at the Independence Inn. She’ll go far, for sure.
The corollary, of course, is just as important: Not everything is about you. This is a lesson Paris naturally should have learned before she became the Pop-up Book from Hell. Yeah, I know, when you’re in the middle of that personal hell, it feels like your piddling little problems are akin to a natural disaster. It feels like it ought to be all about you. But guess what: it still isn’t. And you’re going to have a hard time getting anyone on your side, as long as they believe you that egocentric. Lucky for Paris, Rory is the exception that proves the rule.
What does this have to do with starting a business? When you’re in that place where nothing is going right, and you worry about making the bills next month, and your feel the pressure to generate cash flow, because otherwise your baby’s life may be in danger… When you’re in that place, you tend to become self-absorbed because of your problems. But no one cares about those problems, because they all have their own problems. They need lowCHH-fat cheeeeze. Never forget it!
I loved when Rory suggested to Francie, famed leader of the Puffs, that Paris might be eyeing “another non-existent group.” Suddenly, all the Puffs were desperate to snatch up Paris before that happened. What was the difference? What changed? Paris didn’t change, because she remained just as unsuitable as a member. What changed was their perception of Paris. Suddenly, they might not be able to have her, because she would reject them.
These are two powerful forces, both working in concert, and businesspeople use them all the time. The first is scarcity: whenever we think we’re going to lose something, that something magically becomes more valuable to us. Then there’s the desire to be accepted: to quit a job is one thing, but to be fired is somehow much worse, even if you hated the job. It doesn’t matter whether you get severance pay or unemployment benefits (neither of which you would get if you had quit). Still, being “let go,” as they say, it makes you feel like less of a human being.
There’s one scene where Michel keeps answering Lorelai’s questions, even before she finishes asking them. This is no doubt why, for all of his thoughts, Lorelai never thinks of firing Michel. (Not seriously anyhow.) Because he has a sense of urgency when it counts. She’s on the verge of freaking out about the event, but Michel has his stuff firmly under control.
This is something that I wish I could instill in my kids, a sense of urgency. You have to have a sense of urgency about things that must be done now. Unfortunately, human nature is to procrastinate, even about things that are urgent. And when you’re starting a new business, there are plenty of things that are urgent, and most of your employees will not have a sense of urgency about them. Good call on keeping Michel.
“You can fix it!” Lorelai tells Luke, regarding the runway for the fashion show. I’m glad she stopped short of insisting that Luke could fix it, even when Luke said he couldn’t. (I’d like to believe that if Luke said it was broken for good, that Lorelai woudn’t argue with him, but rather would start batting around ideas for what to do to save the day.)
The lesson here is that it pays to be an optimist, because if you persist inventively, you can probably make it work in the end. I like how Dan Kennedy put it: he’s a long-term optimist, but also a short-term pessimist. That is, assume everything will go wrong, just as Murphy’s law predicts, but have confidence that with hard work and persistence, it will all work out in the end.
Near then end of the episode, Emily talks to Lorelai about “fitting into the world you ran away from.” That seemed to disappoint Lorelai, to make her uncomfortable. And I understand why it would, because that world is a world of oppression and misery.
But what’s to fit into? Take heart, Lorelai! You should feel proud about that, because it means you’re good at what you do. It’s your own mothers way of giving you her vote of confidence in your new venture, though she may not realize it. It’s why you’ll succeed at running your own inn.
That brings us up through “Like Mother, Like Daughter.” And “The Ins and Outs of Inns” has even more.
To be continued tomorrow…
-TimK
Today’s Gilmore Girls episode, “Sadie, Sadie,” has two quirks of note: Firstly, Lane goes on and on about her “parents,” including her mythical father, whom we all know does not actually exist. That’s right, Lane was actually conceived in a test tube, because even that was too much excitement for her mother. (The story about Mrs. Kim’s wedding night is also a myth.)
Also in this episode, Lorelai wears glasses! Yeah, they’re awful cute, but she only wears glasses or contacts in 3 episodes, if I recall, of which this is one. The others were (1) the pilot episode, in which she thinks she put her contacts in backwards, and (2) Er… hrrmph… some episode in which she was seen in Luke’s diner wearing a red, plaid, flannel shirt and black, thick-rimmed eyeglasses. (I’m sorry I don’t remember which episode that was. But if you don’t tell anyone that I forgot, it can be our little secret.)
But what I really want to talk about today is Luke. Everyone in town knows how he feels about Lorelai. Even Rachel knew. But Lorelai apparently continues to remain ignorant of it, probably because she wants Luke to remain firmly and only a friend. There’s a certain comfort in a relationship with hard boundaries, because there’s limited commitment, and you know it will never get out of hand.
I remember back in the day, people used to complain about how big of a wimp Luke was for keeping his feelings a secret from Lorelai. (For all I know, they might still talk that way, but in recent years, I’ve taken to enjoying Gilmore Girls for what it means to me, and I’ve basically ignored the GG fan boards. Sorry. Hope that doesn’t make me a snob.)
But the situation is more complicated than “man” or “wimp.” I actually understand how Luke feels and the situation he’s in, because I once was my own Luke, and I had my own Lorelai. In the Love-Idiot book, I call her “Helena.” She too had long, dark hair, and delicate freckles on her nose, and blue eyes that sparkled like sapphires. From the moment we met, I found her attractive, and my affection for her only increased as we got to know each other. But we were mere friends, and I knew she probably wasn’t interested in a “relationship” with me.
She was also intelligent and cultured and opinionated, and she and I frequently bantered and argued over whatever subject came up. Once, we went hiking across Blue Hills with a friend of ours, Ed. We broke for lunch in a clearing. Helena sat on a rock, and I on another, several yards away. Ed plopped himself down on the ground in between us and opened his sandwich. As we ate, Helena and I began discussing order and chaos, and specifically, God and creation and order and chaos. That’s a touchy subject, just mentioning it. But we got into it. Is the universe chaotic, a randomly derived collection of subatomic particles? Or is it ordered, designed by God with built-in knowledge and intelligence? Is God a God of order? Or of chaos? Or both?
Suddenly, Ed stood, marched to the very edge of the clearing, and announced, “I’m not getting in the middle of this!”
But what I remember most about those days is that I didn’t feel like there was anything to get in the middle of between Helena and me. That is, I enjoyed spending time with her, talking with her, discussing with her, even arguing with her… about everything except relationships.
Several days after the Blue Hills hike, I happened to mention to Helena how pretty she was, how beautiful her eyes were.
She hit the roof. How could I have violated the boundaries of our friendship like that?! In the end, I was severely crushed. And it was many years before I was able to forgive her. In fact, it wasn’t until I wrote the Love-Idiot book that I took a long, hard look at these memories, and perhaps saw things a little more clearly from her point of view.
That why I’m not sure Luke is a wimp. Yes, maybe he could have told Lorelai how he felt, but unfortunately, it probably wouldn’t have worked out even if he had. Because Lorelai was with Max, and she probably would have felt threatened by Luke’s feelings.
Luke’s situation was different from mine in one important respect. He had Rachel. Poor, silly, idiotic Luke! He had a beautiful, interesting woman, with whom he actually had been in love in years past, desperately in love. That relationship could have been a dream come true for him. He could have pulled up those feelings and delved into them. Luke’s biggest mistake was not giving Rachel the respect and attention she deserved as his girlfriend, regardless of what she had done to him in the past. But I guess having something, as they say, is often not so great as wanting it in the first place.
(At some point during season 4 or 5, I’ll probably make a similar comment about Dean.)
Fortunately, I eventually found my own Rachel, and by that time, I knew enough to give her my focus and attention, even though I was still reeling from previous Lorelai relationships at the time. It was a profoundly uncomfortable (and even in some ways, unromantic) period in my life, but I knew what I was doing, and it worked out in the end.
Till next time…
-TimK
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