TimK's Blog

Gilmore Girls Made Me Understand My Old Girlfriend

TimK — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 12:00:00 -0700

In the Gilmore Girls episode, “That Damn Donna Reed,” at one point, Lorelai calls Luke and asks him to search for her lost baby chick that has escaped. Luke naturally thinks the lost baby chick is just a ruse to get him to come over. But come over he does, and he’s actually surprised when he discovers that, yes, there really is a chick loose in the house.

When I was young and naive, I had a hot date with a hot redhead, Tracy. (Not her real name, by the way.) A romantic evening. We dressed up, went out to a nice Italian restaurant, soft music, mouthwatering aromas, subtle lighting, cloth napkins. After we said goodnight, I went home and started getting ready to turn in.

Some minutes later, Tracy called in a panic, saying that a large, dark figure was snooping outside her apartment. I didn’t get that, because neither of us lived in a crazy or dangerous neighborhood. I told her that if she was really worried, she should call 911. But she begged me to come over as fast as I could.

When I got there, I found—surprise!—absolutely nothing.

She begged me to stay awhile, until she felt better. We cuddled together a while, and then one thing led to another.

(The rest of the story isn’t relevant here, but you can read it in chapter 10 of the Love-Idiot Book.)

Many years later, after I was married with kids, I was watching Gilmore Girls. And in the “Donna Reed” episode, when Sookie explains to Lorelai what was going through Luke’s mind with coming over and the chick on the loose…

Suddenly, that memory of Tracy struck me, and I finally understood.

-TimK

P.S. A couple episodes ago, in the episode “Double Date,” I still don’t get Rune. So Lorelai is tall. So what? Tall and leggy and and really sexy in that simple outfit. Back in my day, I would have been honored to have gone out with her, whatever the circumstances. Of course, I’m biased, as I had an enjoyable and touching casual date of my own, with a beautiful woman who stood about as high as Lorelai does. Except mine had blonde hair and was a local celebrity. She was and still is a special friend. That’s also in chapter 10 of the Love-Idiot Book, which you can preview at LoveIdiotBook.com.

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Staying Out All Night

TimK — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:47:00 -0800

Remember this in the Gilmore Girls episode “Rory’s Dance”? Lorelai had hurt her back, and there was only one position on the couch in which she could get any relief, lying upside-down, with her head hanging over the edge and her feet propped up on the back of the couch.

That’s how it’s been for me this week, except that instead of back pain, I’ve had migraines. I hope that explains why I haven’t posted regularly. It always starts with a poor night’s sleep and always ends with me sprawled in a strange position on the couch, pressing my head up against the armrest, because that the only way I can get the pounding in my head to stop hurting.

“Rory’s Dance” is also the Rory : Dean :: girlfriend : boyfriend episode.

Ah. I remember my first real girlfriend. (That’s a different story.)

I particularly like this line Lorelai says: “I just don’t want you to miss out on any experience because you’re too afraid.”

Sometimes we avoid experiences that could enrich our lives, because we’re afraid of them. But sometimes, as for Rory, when you step out on that limb, things work out beautifully and romantically, and you end up with a wonderful memory.

And sometimes, as for Rory, they don’t.

You might leave your miserable job in order to take your career (or your life) in a new direction. And you might become rich and famous, or you might end up broke and homeless. Or maybe you start up a conversation with that cute guy in the elevator at work. You might find out he’s your soulmate. Or you might find out that he’s already married.

Rory’s story reminds me of this one time I stayed out all night and probably freaked my parents. They handled it better than Lorelai, but then again, they didn’t have any of Lorelai’s baggage. I was 17 or 18 at the time. We were all at a church convention together. (Yes, and with lots of gossipy church-ladies there no doubt.) And after the day’s events, I went out for coffee with a few friends. And after we had coffee, one of the girls and I—not a girlfriend, just a girl friend—we got to talking in one of the lobbies in the hotel. We sat in the comfy chairs there and chatted and chatted and chatted. Before we knew it, the moon had gone to bed and the sun was waking up.

My parents simply listened to my explanation, and then with looks of consternation, made some forgettable comment about the incident, and then never mentioned it again. I never stayed out all night again.

But I still look back on that night as enjoyable, an experience I’m glad to have had. Every experience can make us better people. The worst job I ever had was also the most educational, because it challenged me the most. I will never go back to work for a company like that again (if I can avoid it), but I’ll still always take with me the life-lessons I learned there.

I wonder if Rory will ever look back on her experiences with Dean and ponder what she ultimately will have learned from them.

-TimK

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A Buddy or a Parent?

TimK — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 12:00:00 -0800

Everyone who has children reaches a point where she must decide whether to try to be a parent to her kids or a buddy to them. As my own daughters grow through their teen years, I face the same choice. And in the Gilmore Girls episode “Kiss and Tell,” this is exactly the situation Lorelai encounters.

As a kid grows, she keeps more and more secrets. Eventually, she’s living her own life, sometimes sooner, sometimes later. I’m actually a little surprised that Rory waited as long as she did. She’s 16, for crying out loud! Are you telling me that she and Lorelai have never talked about boys before?

So if Lorelai can’t be a girlfriend to Rory where Dean is concerned, the flip-side is that Rory looks to her mother for advice and experience, and for a pattern to emulate.

Dean seems to know this, as he makes it clear to Lorelai that he needs her support. “But I’m not going anywhere,” he says.

I like Dean. He would ultimately have been so good for Rory, but she’s her mother’s daughter. Ironic, that.

-TimK

P.S. There are apples on the kitchen table during the movie scene! What are APPLES doing in Lorelai’s house?!

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The Timing Has Never Been Right

TimK — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 12:00:00 -0800

The episode “Cinnamon’s Wake” could have been called “Goodbye, Lorelai Gilmore,” because both Dean and Max use that phrase to their respective Lorelais.

What I find more interesting, though, is something Lorelai says: “The timing has never been right.”

She’s talking about when to tell Rory that she and Max had scheduled a date. I get why this is a sensitive conversation, because she’s had precious few men (if any) in her life, because this one is Rory’s teacher, because she has always put Rory first, which gives Rory effective veto power over even her romantic relationships.

None of these things are ever going to change. The timing will never be “right.” You just have to know what words you’re going to use, and then you have to just say it. If you wait for the “perfect” time, you’ll never find it.

And so Lorelai never does tell Rory, until after it’s too late.

This foreshadows an ongoing pattern in Lorelai’s life, and in Rory’s, too. It seems they and so many of the people in their lives wait until the “right” time, which never comes. And it’s interesting to note the exceptions.

(Dean and Max I believe are two of those exceptions.)

-TimK

P.S. “You are mourning a cat?” Hey, Michel! You’re eventually gonna have a funeral for a dog!

P.P.S. Hey, it’s Kirk! For real, for the first time, just meeting Miss Patty, who we later learn has known him since he was little.

P.P.P.S. Sookie’s eating in the diner! What’s she even doing there?

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Parenthood Review (First Episode)

TimK — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 06:23:57 -0800

Last night, I watched the first episode of Lauren Graham’s new show, Parenthood, in which Lauren plays a single mom named Sarah—the similarity with Gilmore Girls ends there—and…

Déjà vu! I think I may have seen this show before, back when it was called Brothers and Sisters. Uh… No, not quite, because Brothers and Sisters was actually worth watching.

Parenthood, on the other hand, is the kind of show that Lorelai and Rory would watch together. (To make fun of, in case you missed my meaning.) Lots of activity, with trite, shallow, unsympathetic, psychological disturbed characters who constantly prance round and round in circles without going anywhere. Of course, that probably means it’ll be wildly successful! (Like the new Battlestar Galactica, which is also full of trite, shallow, unsympathetic, psychological disturbed characters who constantly prance round and round in circles without going anywhere.)

If you missed last night’s episode, there are apparently repeats scheduled throughout the week. You can also watch it online at NBC.com.

Or if you can’t see it, because—for example—maybe you’re in a geographical region of the world which NBC has deemed to be unworthy of viewing the show, do not fret. Instead, get yourself down to your local video rental place, and see if you can pick up a copy of the first season of Brothers and Sisters, which is a CBS show and actually funnier, more dramatic, and does the whole-family-arguing thing way better, with deep characters that you actually care about, facing compelling conflicts… and even a better “Sarah” (played by Rachel Griffiths).

Now, don’t get me wrong; I love Lauren Graham. But to be honest… I don’t know whether you’re a Mythbusters fan, but in a recent episode, they actually tried to make a candle out of earwax. It was the most repulsive, disgusting thing I have ever witnessed on TV, and that includes the new Battlestar Galactica. Parenthood was dramatic and funny in the same way that Mythbusters episode was dramatic and funny. By the end of the show, when Lauren’s character Sarah cried, in what was supposed to be a touching moment with her son, I couldn’t keep myself from laughing. The scene came off just that silly.

Sorry, I expected more. Maybe next time.

-TimK

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Deer-Hunters and Happy Endings

TimK — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 12:00:00 -0800

(SPOILER ALERT) I actually hate the episode “Deer-Hunters.” It’s my least favorite episode, because Rory gets a D on her English paper, and despite all her efforts, the episode still has a sad ending. That sucks. Really sucks.

But it also demonstrates so perfectly why I love Gilmore Girls.

I prefer happy endings. Because happy endings uplift. They show you how you can succeed in adversary. They offer hope for a hopeless situation.

This episode has a sad ending. But in the process, Lorelai tells her to put the D behind her. “What do we have to do to get you an A on that test?” She’s a good influence.

And even after the sad ending, Lorelai admits that going to Harvard is her dream for Rory, and it doesn’t have to be Rory’s dream for herself. She reiterates that Rory can accomplish anything she sets her mind to, whether that’s going to Harvard or whether that involves something else entirely.

Indeed, the world does not actually revolve around Harvard. Sookie never went to Harvard, and it’s hard to see how it could have made her a better chef. Lorelai never went to Harvard, and even though it may have once been her dream, it’s hard to see how she could have ended up happier if she had.

Rory of course does eventually accomplish exactly what she set out to do (including getting accepted by Harvard), by the end of the third season. Knowing what’s coming up, in these early episodes, whenever Paris digs into Rory, I just think “Valedictorian.” (Ha! In yo face, bitch! — Okay, so I have a vengeful streak now and then.)

-TimK

P.S. Words of wisdom for both Rory (in the face of her taunters) and Sookie (in the face of her mostly-positive review): Never worry about what other people think of you, because if you knew how little time they spent thinking about you, then you’d really worry.

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When You Stop Looking for Happiness

TimK — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 12:19:12 -0800

It’s interesting: A day with the overbearing grandfather can be quite enjoyable, as soon as you don’t expect too much of it. You get to do things that you’ve never done, and to learn things about him that you never knew. That’s what happened to Rory in the Gilmore Girls episode “Kill Me Now”.

How often is life like that? For example, they say that as soon as you stop looking for the love your life, then you’ll find him. I know that this happened to both my Beloved and me myself. We had each adopted on a life-changing agnosticism before we met. She had promised herself she would take it easy with me. And I had promised myself I was going to wait a few weeks before deciding I was falling in love.

Fortunately, we had families who accepted and supported our relationship. I feel as close to my sisters-in-law as I do to my own brothers. And Margaret is as close to my folks as to her own.

But I wonder how Rory felt. How would you feel if you had a fun, life-expanding experience, and then your best friend and closest relative reacts as Lorelai did? That’s a question that the episode didn’t spend much time exploring, instead focusing on the conflict between Lorelai and her mother. Lorelai had never felt supported by her own mother, and so now she doesn’t know how to do anything except be like her mother?

I’m glad they finally worked it out, though, for Rory’s sake.

-TimK

P.S. Hey, it’s Kirk again!

P.P.S. Was Amy Sherman-Palladino attacked by swans when she was a girl, or something? The militant-swans gag pops up twice in the series.

P.P.P.S. The diner in these early episodes seems so much more… I dunno… quiet, invisible, as though it’s not actually there, as though it’s not the real diner, a different place, a dream place. (Am I making any sense?)

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Rory Gilmore's First Day at Chilton

TimK — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 12:45:59 -0800

One of the biggest fears any of us, probably, has upon going to a new place is whether we will be accepted. And Rory’s… er… “discussion” with Headmaster Charleston must have made her feel like a complete outcast.

I remember a job interview I once had, when I was still a teenager in college. The interviewer showed me around the facility. I got to talk with a number of the engineers there. It was an open, easy-going environment. They knew how to have fun and relax while they were getting stuff done.

After the tour, however, I guess the interviewer felt he needed to get serious. His face became stern. He told me that they had fun, yes, but when it was time to work, they worked.

I did not take the job.

I think if I had been in Rory’s place, I would have reconsidered whether getting into Harvard was really that important to me.

-TimK

P.S. Who’s that English teacher, BTW? Is he the guy who Max Medina replaces in a couple episodes?

P.P.S. I love Emily’s line: “Drug dealers take the bus”? No, drug dealers have their own cars.

P.P.P.S. Hey, it’s Kirk! I mean, “Mick.”

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Making It Up As We Go Along

TimK — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:23:11 -0800

The pilot episode, the very first Gilmore Girls ever created, the very first episode in the epic story…

This is still one of my favorite episodes, because of the way Amy Sherman-Palladino effortlessly introduces the characters, the way she pulls you along through the episode, the way she sets up the story that will keep the show going for the next three years. I tell people that if they watch through the first Gilmore Girls DVD disc, they’ll keep watching, putting disc after disc into the DVD player.

Then there are the inconsistencies between these early episodes and later Gilmore tradition. They’re always fun to notice and point out. Here are some from the first episode:

Drella - She pops up a few times during the first season and then disappears forever.
Sookie’s a klutz, klutzier than she ever is again. In the first ep, she actually has stitches in her hand! Whacking the kitchen staff with a skillet, burning her hair, setting the kitchen on fire. Slapstick! Ha!
Lorelai thinks she put her contacts in backwards. But she doesn’t wear contacts.
Emily’s hairdo in the first episode.
Emily doesn’t get upset at Lorelai’s “pie” joke. She just nods politely, whereas normally, she would scold her daughter.

Ha!

-TimK

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Friday Wrap-up: Gilmore Girls News

TimK — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0700

Premium Hollywood posted a chat with Krysten Ritter, who appeared as Lucy in season 7, and now appears on the indie series Woke Up Dead.

No more actual news this week, so instead I’ll hit you with a few Gilmore Girls mentions from around the blogosphere:

“Suzanne in Tajikistan” describes Twilight (the movie) as “like Rory Gilmore does Vampires - with BAD acting. Yikes!” (And that’s not a rag on GG, because she’s a fan, too.)

Jenn compares her life with Rory, in season 7, “lamenting having to act like ’a grown-up.’”

“Anonymously Famous” says she can’t read her sticky notes, either, just like Lorelai in (some episode I can’t think of right now, because my brain isn’t working right).

Sibylle sees she has a lot in common with the Gilmore girls.

And last but not least, check out what Kat did last Sunday. Kewl, huh?

-TimK

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