Yoga for Kirk, and Rory Should've Told the Truth

TimK — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 22:03:37 -0800

Today was one of those days I felt like watching some Gilmore Girls. Yeah, I’ve been watching all kinds of stuff that’s not GG. You know what they say: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And today was one of those fond exceptions.

I’ve been going through my Netflix queue, unfortunately filling it up again as soon as I empty it. It’s a “live-lock” problem. Or as Lorelai might put it: Did you know that if the entire population of China walked by, the line would never end because of the rate of population increase? That’s my Netflix queue.

Among many, many hours of stuff, I’ve watched:

The Way We Were, and I finally get the Gilmore-isms in “Emily Says Hello” and “Say Something.”
The Littlest Angel, which my Little One adored. (But it’s bound to wrench the hearts of most adults, or offend them. Ah to have the innocence of a child!)
Over 3 seasons of Magnum P.I. This is a show I really didn’t “get,” because I couldn’t empathize with Thomas Magnum, until I started writing The Conscience of Abe’s Turn. I think Mira Jayson (one of the fictional characters) has every episode of Magnum on DVD, even though it’s from before her time. And I think she loves it as much as I love Gilmore Girls. So watching Magnum helps me understand her and inspires the story. Interestingly enough, Michael (another character) has some significant characteristics in common with Magnum, which makes for an interesting potential situation in future episodes.
Did I mention that I watched The Lake House? I know Lorelai made fun of it, but I absolutely loved it.
Ditto The Pursuit of Happyness and Because I Said So. (But I loved The Lake House more.)
Really liked The Witches of Eastwick (and the Gilmore-ism is perfect); didn’t like West Side Story as much as I hoped I would (and Lorelai does not look like Natalie Wood); absolutely hated Kickin’ It Old Skool (the new indie film starring Aris Alverado, a.k.a., Caesar of Luke’s Diner, and hated it so much I even wrote about how it ain’t worth watchin’.
Let’s see… I’ve also been loading up on TV and movies starring Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose, of The Return of Jezebel James fame. That means episodes of Six Feet Under (morbid, except for that parts that are disturbing, but with excellent characterizations), and a whole list of Parker Posey movie one-line reviews.
Speaking of Parker Posey, I loved Broken English—seen it a half-dozen times so far, and I just realized I never did a top-10 review of it! (Yikes!) But it tied with I’m Reed Fish (starring Alexis Bledel) for my favorite summer movie of the year.
Finally watched Rocky (at least the first movie in the series), and now I really get the “Hey, Adrian!” thing. Still have Rocky Balboa (with Milo Ventimiglia) yet to watch in my queue. But even now, I think that’s one kewl Gilmore-ism-ism.
And speaking of Rocky, I introduced my Little One, the artist in the family, who loves cartoons, to Rocky & Bullwinkle. She likes it better than Ratatouille. And BTW, I only got to educate the family on what ratatouille is, because Sookie once made it.
I also loved The Treatment, starring Christopher Eigeman kissing Fammke Jannsen. I can just hear Jason saying, “Okay. Now that’s gotta be worth seeing, right there for that alone.” Seriously, though, it was a wonderful film, despite the stupid ending. And I have a top-10 review for it in the works.
I also caught Keiko Agena on Private Practice, which is one of my favorite TV dramas. (The other one is Brothers and Sisters, which stars Rachel Griffiths, of Six Feet Under fame… but that’s a second-order Jezebel James-ism, not a Gilmore-ism.) And then the next 2 episodes of PP, I caught David Sutcliff, and I expect him to come back in future episodes, too. I’m finding it really hard, though, to see his character as one of the good guys (which he is). Even in season 7, Gilmore Girls permeates my subconscious! That “aww ain’t that special” face, that annoyingly childish voice. He’ll forever be typecast as Christopher Jerk-face in my mind. Too bad.
I also should note that I haven’t enjoyed most of the other shows former GG stars have appeared in. I mean, I like Grey’s Anatomy, but I wasn’t too crazy about Edward Herrmann’s character on the show (a character that appeared for several episodes before a near-death experience made him re-evaluate whether he wanted to be there). And I really dislike Aliens in America and Samantha Who? and Viva Laughlin, at least the first episodes, which are all I could stomach watching.
I’ve also been writing a lot, and blogging on my personal blog a lot of stuff not Gilmore Girls related.
Oh, and one more thing… I’ve mentioned Gilmore Girls a couple times already in my exclusive “Writer’s Tips” e-Newsletter, including one whole article basically dedicated to the Luke-Lorelai-April situation of season 6. I can’t share with you those articles of course, and you’d probably find them boring anyhow, unless you’re a writer.

Whew! It’s been a long time since I really got into Gilmore Girls. So today, I felt like popping in a season-5 DVD. I just felt like it, that’s all. I didn’t feel like starting at the beginning. So I went to disc 3, the disc with the episode “But Not as Cute as Pushkin.” That’s the episode with Luke’s Dark Day, and where Rory shows Chilton student Anna around Yale, and Logan, Colin, and Finn interrupt a class to declare love to Rory (in jest).

I popped in the disc and started to watch, and a feeling came over me. A unique, Gilmore feeling. Watching Gilmore Girls is unlike watching anything else. Not a memory, but a love, a passion. Like meeting an old girlfriend and finding out how much you still have in common.

In that episode, at Miss Patty’s anniversary with the business they call “Show,” remember how Kirk misses his cue? Miss Patty says (as part of her script), “… and so close to a piano!” She has to repeat three times before she scolds Kirk with a “Kirk!?” He wasn’t paying attention, because Kirk being Kirk, he was reading a book with the unlikely title Yoga for Dummies. Yes, I was surprised to discover that this is an actual book, not just a prop they made up for GG.

But the real thing that struck me in this episode is something that struck me before, but not quite so poignantly. Before, I didn’t really understand the dynamics as I do today. I think becoming a “serious” writer has made me grow as a person.

Recall that Rory was showing around Yale the young Anna, a student visiting from Rory’s alma matter Chilton. Rory sends Anna off to the Fro-yo Social and promises to meet her there. But Anna decides not to go to the Fro-yo Social. (And yes, we all realize how ridiculous that sounds.) In a state of panic, Rory calls Marty and they go out searching for Anna the underage party animal.

While frantically searching, Rory gets a call on her cell phone, from Headmaster Charleston. He asks how Anna is doing.

At this point, I always say, “Just tell him the truth!” I’ve always said that. Even back when this episode first aired, I told her to just tell the truth. If it looks bad for you, so what? The best thing is for him to know that you are doing everything you can think of to deal with the situation. And even if he doesn’t already know the truth—which he clearly did, because otherwise why would he be calling with that particular question at that particular moment? Even if he doesn’t already know the truth, he may have some additional ideas on how to find Anna, something you haven’t thought of before.

What it really comes down to, though, is that he needs to know. He needs to know the truth, that Anna ditched Rory and that now Rory is frantically trying to find Anna to make sure she’s okay.

I learned that from a manager of mine. It was one of the worst jobs I’ve ever had. But she was the single best manager I’ve ever worked with. I had promised another department that we would do such-and-such for them. But she decided it was too risky—which it wasn’t—and that we weren’t going to do that after all. That’s not the good part. Here I am, thinking, Oh crap! How am I gonna break the news to him that he’s not going to get what he thought he was? This is something he really wanted and is counting on. I didn’t yet realize how classy my manager was.

Here’s what she did. We went to her office, and she picked up the phone. She called the guy I had made the promise to. He wasn’t in. So she left a voicemail. She said simply that she called to let him know that he wasn’t going to get such-and-such, and if he had any questions, he should call her back, and she’d be happy to answer any questions he had. After she hung up, I told her how well I thought she did that. Because if I had made that phone call, I would have avoided it, because I didn’t know what to say, and then when I was on the phone, I would have stammered through God knows what, trying to get out something like a side of the story that makes me look something like good. But she just said the truth, simple and direct, without even a waver in her voice. I was impressed.

She gave me a sort of blank look and said, “Well, he had to know.”

Then it dawned on me: She personally delivered the bad news, because she had made the decision, and she was taking accountability for the situation. That’s one. Number two is that he really did need to know what was happening, because he was counting on something he was not going to get from me. So he needed to know the truth, and sooner rather than later. It didn’t have to be a big deal. It didn’t necessarily mean the world was going to fall apart. It was just, “We’re not going to deliver that after all. Please call me back if you have any questions.” Short, simple, to the point.

That’s what Rory should have done. And I daresay if she had, Headmaster Charleston would have retained his respect for her. Becuase surely he’s had to deal with a few students who got into mischief unexpectedly. Even Rory fell into that category (almost) at one point. (But it was just plain embarrassing that she got busted doing something as harmless as ringing a bell!) The truth is something the Headmaster could have dealt with. But being betrayed and lied to by the student he had trusted to be his eyes and ears at Yale? That’s something he wouldn’t get over. Yeah, Rory probably did retroactively flunk out of Chilton.

The direct approach. That’s what Rory should have done. Why didn’t she? It may be obvious to you. But until recently, it was not obvious to me. And now I see that it’s something both Rory and Lorelai do repeatedly with those they love. They avoid the truth if it causes conflict, because they don’t like to face conflict.

Of course, the truth doesn’t need to mean conflict. Simple and direct, and calmly. It doesn’t need to be a big deal. And if you don’t make it a big deal, Headmaster Charleston will probably feel better about what you’re doing to handle the situation, because it sounds like you have things under control, even if you don’t. But Rory avoids conflict. She’s like Mira that way. (My character from The Conscience of Abe’s Turn I mentioned above, the one that likes Magnum P.I.) Like Mira, enough conflict might even make her sick, that is, physically ill. That’s why it’s okay (in her eyes) to lie to spare someone’s feelings, and it’s okay to lie to avoid conflict. These are just “little white lies,” because no one is going to be hurt by them. Or at least that’s what she convinces herself.

I’m sure this is also why Lorelai avoided telling Luke about Christopher, when she visited him after his father died, and when she had him over to the Dragonfly for lunch. Because she wanted to avoid conflict. And then after they broke up and got back together, she actually did start telling him up-front about such things. And it was clearly a struggle for her.

Too bad by that time Luke was already keeping secrets from her, truths she needed to know about.

But that’s another story.

In omnia paratus!
-TimK