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“It’s Saturday! The day of rest!” Lorelai objected.

Of course, Rory didn’t buy that. Sunday is the day of rest. Well… Maybe they should convert to Judaism.

Today ABC Family aired the episode “The Breakup, Part 2”, the one right after Rory and Dean broke up, leaving Rory feeling an acute sadness, so severe she didn’t even want to think about it, never mind talk about it. Next morning, Saturday, Rory got up early and made a list of 200 zillion things she and Lorelai needed to do that day. Meanwhile, Lorelai saw exactly what was happening, that Rory was creating activity in an attempt to distract herself from her loss, and Lorelai tried to encourage her daughter to wallow for a little while, because she needed to, and it would help her get over Dean.

We all feel like wallowing once in a while: maybe after a breakup, or after the death of a pet or of a loved one, or under a load of personal stress. Your emotions get churned up to the point that you simply can’t straight about anything. You just want to sit and sob, watch sad movies, eat a half-gallon of ice cream and a magnum of white wine. (Or as I did recently, a vanilla-cream-filled doughnut and a large strawberry Coolatta® with whipped cream.)

But is that a healthy way to deal with the pain of loss?

Says Joe Griffin, author of the book How to lift depression …fast:

Research shows that any therapy or counselling that encourages people to introspect about what they were unhappy about in their past will deepen depression. This type of therapy is based on a misunderstanding going right back to Freud… Research has shown quite unambiguously that dreams [help us deal with unresolved emotions] every night. In other words, nature actually invented the emotional ‘flush toilet mechanism’ long before Freud tried to. These kinds of approaches to therapy, by encouraging emotionally arousing introspection, are actually working against nature.

As it turns out, throwing yourself into fun and enjoyable activities is a very healthy way to deal with depression and sadness, especially if you do it with people you love in your life. Of course, wallowing for a short time is not necessarily bad, as long as it’s temporary. And that’s what you have to remember. Depression may descend on you like a black cloud, but inevitably the sun comes out as soon as you start again doing something positive.

Ironically, Rory’s natural response to the breakup probably the best thing she could have done. She started throwing herself into activities. She wanted to fill her day with companionship with her mother and best friend. She decided to go the party, to get away and try something new. She was searching for positive stimulation.

Even approaching Tristan was a positive step on her on her way to getting over Dean. Like Rory, he was lonely, and Rory sympathized with him because of the way that Summer treated him. They had something in common. But when he kissed her, and she kissed him back, she remembered her loss—which is something you have to expect—and that made her cry. Sometimes you simply can’t avoid how you feel, and that’s okay, too.

-TimK