(Gilmore Girls fan site)Hey, i am trying my first real rant about things on Gilmore Girls at this site.
ONE THING that i feel about Lorelai that i dislike is this… In life, people come and go from our lives. They are not meant to be forever friends, just spot friends, for this reason and that reason - they help us, guide us to our next destination, decision, etc. Then they just drift out of our lives again. For Lorelai that would be Max for example. I do not see that much learning going on in Gilmore Girls for some of the characters; some learn more than others. Rory i think has had these guides more. But Lorelai - people come and go with her but she does not seem to change from her epiphanies. Not really. She has moments of realization - but then she goes off down the same road. As for opening the Inn, that was just a natural progression of her dream. I am talking about sifting thru all the dirt of life and picking out the jewels that other people give to you - and then improving yourself because of these treasures. What i see in Lorelai is a continuation of the same person.
Rory let Logan change her, i think. She let Mitchem Huntsburger change her. I mean, she questioned her path. She also let Richard change her Harvard course - to Yale. She let Jess change her - free her - she did crazy stuff that previously was not possible for her.
Now look at Lorelai. What did she do? She tried to put a ring in Luke’s nose - mostly. (Had to stay in her house, had to have all the decisions be hers) With Chris, she had to control it all too. And with Max - she wore him out too. As far as i can tell, Lorelai has not let anyone come in and out and leave her changed - she still wants to control everything, she still wants her way 90% of the time, and feels she has lost if she does not get it. And then when she thought she needed to let Luke be himself more, she could not even let that happen naturally - she “ordered” him to go camping. It was forced, because Lorelai is not good at letting people be who are involved with her. In fact, i am getting irritated with her - after seven seasons of her whining like a child over every single little thing —- Check out that scene where she is telling Luke that she is losing control of Rory. They are eating ice cream in the kitchen and the whole spoon bit is not only funny - it shows her level of control. Luke is required to act out what is in HER HEAD. Luke cannot even decide to use silver spoons - they must be plastic. Hey, i know real people like this too….
Was it really necessary for Lorelai, even though she was having an epiphany about her daughter - was it necessary for her to maintain her “act” with Luke? When will she acknowledge that she is not just this perfectly witty queen of “cool” who has to teach the rest of the world how to be “cool” also. Isn’t she getting a wee bit too old for that? In fact, isn’t that something you should outgrow by age 30? I know these people - who observe you doing something and “know” how to do it differently so that it is better - as if it matters that you have to rinse out a couple of spoons. How can Luke stand to be told “you are so stupid, you cannot properly choose flatware to eat ice cream with - you idiot!” I have those people in my life and they often make me want to scream. (We all scream for ice cream - sorry for that pun - oops!)
When will Lorelai let go? She makes speaches about it now and again - but then she reverts right back - as if she cannot actually change for real. Well, that is how i am feeling about this today - if i think further on it and can find evidence to the contrary, i will post that also.
Thank you. Well, it is SUNNY here finally - so i must finally get outside!
PEACE
First of all, Lorelei grew up with Emily Gilmore as a mother, what an example that is for how to be in total control of your life and everyone else’s around you. However, Lorelei has reason to be stuburn, it has given her all she and Rory have in life. Lorelei was a single mother who’s stuburnness drove her to leave her overbearing parents and not jump into a marriage which would have ended horribly for all, when she got pregnant at a young age. Through her stuburnness (which in many cases could be considered determination), she got a job and a place to live at a Inn, she later ran! She was able to bring herself from being all alone with a baby to raise, to owning her own home and having a job she loved. Now, as far as her insisting that she not give up her house, well, that is the only thing she has ever owned on her own (even the Draginfly is part Sookie’s). Also, when Luke wanted her to give up the house, was also a time when Rory and she were not speaking, and that house was a tie to the daughter she couldn’t be with. Also, (and i know this part because i’m engaged to Luke’s long lost twin!) Luke makes assumptions about what he thinks Lorelei wants him to do, and then he takes it out on her, when it’s not what he wanted!!! When Lorelei told Luke to go camping, it was because she felt she was taking him away from the things he loved (and in the end, she was right, lets not forget that!). As for the point that was made about how Rory is changed in different ways by all the people that come into her life, I feel that Rory is changed too much, too often, by too many people. Everytime she finds a sense of self, she looses it to someone (usually a guy!). She couldn’t even see that leaving Yale and forcing a wedge between herself and her mother was not the right thing to do, until Jess pointed it out to her. Then suddenly, she had a revelation, her mother who was being “stuburn” was right, and she proceeded to fix things.
I love Gilmore Girls, perhaps mostly because my mom raised me on her own, and I see alot about us in the show. I can see why and how Lorelei is set in her ways and depends on things going her way, and she is usually right (as much as I often hate to admit it,as i have gotten older i ahev realized, my mom is usually right, too). 28 years after having a baby (me!) and being all alone, she owns her own home, has a great job, and she did it all on guts, determination, and stuburnness. Based on those similarities between her and Lorelei, I would like my daighter to watch Gilmore girls and look to Lorelei as a role model, not Rory who changes with the wind!
I totally agree with you, that is exactly how I feel with the situation and I couldn’t have said it better myself!!
Rory and Lorelai are two different characters for which you really can’t compare their stubbornness, or lack of. The primary reason being that Rory is in her late teens and early twenties and Lorelai is in her late thirties (early forties for the last season or two?).
Rory is still learning who she is. In her early years she was mostly a copy of Lorelai. It wasn’t until Chilton that we saw this begin to change through the people she met and her own mistakes. Mostly because that’s where the story picked up but I think it’s fair to say that in Season 1 she was very much like Lorelai. Dean began to change her a little bit, Jess a little bit more and Logan the most. But these are mostly changes for the better, resulting in independence from Lorelai, which let’s face it they have a great relationship but it can’t be just the two of them for the rest of their lives for many reasons. And the guys (I’ll use guys because some were boys and some were men by the end of the show) were not the only ones to change Rory. Paris did, Lucy and Olivia did and I would even say Lane did a little bit. Such is the course of life, we meet people that influence us and challenge our ways of thinking and we learn about the type of person we want to be as a result. Sometimes we learn that ways other than our own are better or more appropriate sometimes we stick with the familiar. This shouldn’t stop because we hit 30, but it occurs more frequently earlier in life.
Lorelai has not seemed to learn from her mistakes or other’s opinions and ways. This has caused her to be very successful in her business life, but stunts her personal life. It is very much her way or the highway, as mentioned much like Emily, in most respects of her personal life. And that is fine while she is raising Rory. But when it comes to relationships people have to give and take. They just have to and if they don’t, their partner will never feel satisfied or like much more than a child as opposed to a partner. I relate well with Lorelai and I don’t mean to bash the character in any way I just wish we got to see a little more growth from her instead of fleeting epiphanies. Even in the end Luke telling her to take all the time she needs makes it seem as if it will continue to be her way most of the time and he can’t be happy like that for very long, certainly not for a lifetime commitment.
I don’t know her zodiac sign but I’m guessing she’s a capricorn, that is the most stubborn zodiac sign I ever met . Some of the stuff used on the show were from :Flowers for mothers
No way…I think she’s an Aries (maybe a Pisces). I think Aries is MUCH MORE stubborn than Capricorn. Plus, she’s too emotional. Capricorns are notorious for being “unemotional”. I think that she’s an Aries though. Rory is a libra and she is quite the opposite of Lorelai. The show is really good at showing how Lorelai’s strengths are Rory’s weaknesses and vice versa. Not to mention, how Lorelai never finishes what she starts which is one of the red flags for spotting an Aries 
Oh, I see you really know the star signs..
Indeed, they are a perfect match.. They would deserve some really nice flowers.. I think Canadian flower delivery would be a great choice, are you guys with me?
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Whoa! Insight!
Yes, Lorelai has always been afraid of change. When circumstances force her to, she will do whatever it takes to survive, even if that means changing. But she doesn’t do this willingly. Outside forces must force her into it.
Even with the Dragonfly, it wasn’t just the natural progression of her dream. All through the first 3 seasons, she was continually in planning mode. Because as long as you’re only planning, you don’t actually have to do anything that will require change. This is related to what I was talking about a couple weeks ago, the Lorelai effect: Everything is going swimmingly, until you start getting serious. Then you find a way to sabotage it.
So, you ask, how can Luke stand it? This really provoked an Ahs! moment in me.
When it comes to Lorelai, Luke lets her walk all over him, because he enjoys having her in his life. Every time he gets frustrated with her pig-headedness, he stops, takes a breath, and you can almost hear the wheels turning inside his head: Okay, this is important to her—only God knows why—so I’m going to give in, because I love her. And he does her things with her, just to be with her. And if she needs him, he’s there. He doesn’t even think about it.
Eventually in their relationship, they’re going to have to deal with this. Because there are going to be issues that Luke is not going to be willing to give in to Lorelai on. But that’s another story. Plus, I don’t know many guys who can really feel fulfilled in a relationship letting a woman overrule their every decision. (I don’t mean to be sexist. I’m only saying that’s what I’ve seen.) Somehow I don’t think Luke can, either. In their relationship, he’s going to have to find some bastion of control, where he can do what he wants without letting his woman change everything.
So, cool post, GT. Completely different style than mine. But very cool. Thanks.