(Gilmore Girls fan site)I could give you one hundred examples of Stubborn Lorelai that are just plain idiotic behavior on her part; but of course every single one would be ’defended’ - i found it hilarious that my arguments were picked off one by one… lol just very funny, by the way. It proves a point: People are loathe to find any fault at all with Lorelai - in any possible situation. I find that dangerous, frankly. IMO - IMHO - There is a difference between stubbornness born of intelligence and will and guts, blah blah blah, and being spoiled. Lorelai is spoiled. She is smart, sure, but also pig-headed and spoiled. Spoiled because she is a master manipulator, always able to get her way.
ADDITION: I just want to acknowledge that Lor had many issues as a child with Emily being controlling. She did not get her way all the time - sometimes i use shortcuts or just focus on one thing - i may say “Lorelai is spoiled, always getting her way” - but please don’t take this to mean i have forgotten about the many things she had to endure that were painful and stifling. What i mean is this… She left and got a job that suited her. She got free room and board. She got a stunning daughter, who was the valedictorian and never did anything wrong. Rory raised herself. Lorelai also got every man she ever wanted. She also was in complete control of every relationship (until things went South with Luke) She got the Inn she wanted. She got the business degree. There was hard work involved, yes, but guess what - we all work hard. I never got the promotions i wanted - they went to men, and to younger women. Nor did i get faithful men or men who would emasculate themselves for me. If Lorelai is not spoiled from all her “luck” that followed the hard work, then i don’t know who is. When did she lose a job? When did she get jilted at the altar? When did she not get Rory into some school of choice. When did she lose Luke - after years of pining, shouldn’t she lose Luke for real? Would that not be more realistic??? When was she turned down for loans - etc. (there was always someone to co-sign, to make the deal go thru) What about Christopher swooping back in with all that money. The only “bad luck” Lorelai really ran into was that the BC let her down, or she was too careless to use it. Then she got pregnant. That was not planned - no - but then again, she is responsible for that. Consider this: after Lorelai made a huge - huge mistake; getting pregnant while still in high school - after that - she really did get all the things she tried for. Oh yes, there is all this supposed “drama” thrown in - but step back and look at the big picture - she got the jobs, the men, kept her home, got a perfect daughter…
However - due to her stubbornness and her refusal to let other people change her a little… she did not get the one thing many people want - she did not get a happy relationship. Yes, she achieved, yes she was steadfast - to raise a daughter. But - why did she not take a husband to help her raise her daughter? Why did she not reconcile with her parents? There could have been other options. What was the point of “doing it all my way, on my own”? Well, this was a response to her early training. In effect, Lorelai is still rebelling - and will rebel until she dies. Unless - unless she lets someone change her and teach her that there are other options. And so far, i just do not see that from the character of Lorelai. And i don’t see how that is gonna happen in one more hour (minus endless commercials) - you cannot miraculously change Lorelai in one episode. Therefore, i am left shaking my head and saying, “Ah - ok, the main character didn’t really grow at all. She had experiences, but she did not grow - not like some of the other characters did. Well then, what was the point? Was the point to show me that some people never change?”
Even the fact that Lorelai said one of the stupidest things i ever heard to Rory in the empty dorm room - shows me that she has blocked her mind from true transformation. She did not transform. And if and when she is “rewarded” with Luke for not transforming, well, for me, that will be a joke. Sorry, but as an old fart who has had her share of Lorelai moments - this is how i have to look at it.
END OF ADDITION. Note - i added all this without reading any possible responses. One of the reasons i agreed to blog here is because i do have a dissenting opinion. This is not a place where i am gonna “concede” just to be nice - not unless I agree. When i disagree, i am gonna stick to my ideals about all of this. Therefore, i reject the list of things that proved that Lorelai is righteous in her constant stubbornness. Those arguments just did not find a home in my mind - at all.
BACK TO BLOG FROM BEFORE.
Part of the reason the show works the way it does is because Lorelai is a Siren. If she were plain and uninventive, the show would not be what it is. The entire - entire town of Stars Hollow made folk heroes of the Lorelai The Great and her precious Princess Rory - i mean, they had a town meeting to watch her graduate. This is TV people - this is not reality, ok? Find me a town where there is a town meeting and fisticuffs because the entire town is unable to get tickets to a graduation of a girl who did not save the world from famine. If this town exists, i would love to visit such a town! Rory is not a hero after all - what did she ever do - actually do - for the town of Stars Hollow??????
If you are unwilling to look at something from the complete other side of it - you don’t learn much - that is my wisdom - my opinion. And i am entitled to it.
Saying all this does not mean i don’t love the girls - i still love both of them very much!!! I don’t feel i have to gush over Lorelai to love her. Rory neither. I think that in this respect i differ from many viewers of Gilmore Girls. Many viewers must justify every single move by Lorelai or the world goes out of orbit. Not me, i think the faults create interest and reality, and - the thing she must overcome by the last show! If we are gonna just say “Amen, sister!” - to all that Lorelai does, then - what is the point? Why are we watching? Give me ten Rory’s - a person who has enuf empathy and wonderment and softness to allow people to move her - i would prefer that. And btw, nobody needed to scratch and claw their way - Lorelai comes from money. No doubt she had a manicure and perfect hair when she showed up to work at the Inn. Any Inn Owner could see she was worth banking on. She is beautiful - with a beautiful baby, living in a bucolic landscape of people with money - i don’t think there was much chance of her failing - i mean, this is not a young woman of color on the South Side of Chicago, ok? Now there is a series we will never see on the WB.
I am ticked at Rory. Rory should have accepted Logan’s proposal, IMO and i secretly hope she suffers big time in the relationship department, as punishment for breaking Logan’s heart. This was not some silly high-school romance - all signs pointed to Rory and Logan together in paradise. And i do not think that Rory should get an “out of jail free” card on this one. She needs to suffer also. I want her to have a broken heart as big as Logan’s broken heart. I wish i would see that. You know, i think the bad writing is just the thing, though, to ween me off of this Gilmore Brainwashing treadmill i find myself on. I think i need a little more living of my own life - i am happy to find fault with TV people, IMO.
I have a migraine - i post and then i have to lay down, sorry….
Let’s talk about houses, since i brought it up before… i lost my childhood home to bulldozers- and unless a person had that same exact experience, you cannot know how that feels, on a daily basis. I suffer guilt and shame from it - well, i cannot even bore you with all of it. However, i did not live in the house at the time. No. I just hung onto it. I kept it in the family. But when i was married, i had a proper house, in the proper area that was right for both of us. and i do not think that every single action of Lorelai’s is explainable because she is trying to be a good mother. I just don’t buy that. And i am not going to just gush over Gilmore Girls so that i miss the real messages i could find there. That is not a very good gift to myself, as i see it.
Maybe i will leave any readers with this thought: If stubbornness was all good and justifiable for Lorelai, why did it make her so miserable - in her soul, in the long run? Why did her daughter leave her, why are all the men gone, why is she drunk, and crying and singing into a microphone to the man she crushed by sleeping with another man? In the word’s of Uncle Phi, “Lorelai, you always have to get your way—- How is that working for you?”
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OMG, This is great stuff.
I don’t have time to comment on it all. Just some brief thoughts…
Yeah, there will always someone who will defend Lorelai’s inadequacies. Because Lorelai is the hero of the story. (At least she’s one of the heroes.) We identify with her and want her to succeed, because she’s to protagonist. And it’s sometimes hard to admit that our favorite character has fundamental flaws that keep her from being happy.
Of course she has issues! That doesn’t make her baggage any less of a problem for her. In fact, Amy Sherman-Palladino wrote Lorelai to have baggage. She wrote her to be dysfunctional. And no, Lorelai isn’t going to solve her problems in the next episode. But when you drill down deep into the story, I think you have to admit that the story’s not about Lorelai solving all her problems. It’s about how she copes with them.
And it might be about how she discovers a beginning, just a start, a little something that might eventually make her change. She has changed a little, not fundamentally, but she is now allowing herself to experience things that force her to confront who she is. And that’s where personal growth begins. (I know this is all vague, and I’d like to write about it. But it really deserves its own blog post. So maybe I’ll do that someday.)
GT, I love that you pull no punches! It’s posts like this that challenge us. (Or to reveal that we cannot be challenged.) And as I said, challenge produces personal growth.
I love Lorelai, too. She’s still my favorite GG character, always will be. Even though from the beginning I think she was wrong. She was wrong in the Pilot episode when she told Emily that by not marrying Christopher, they got to keep their bright futures. Of course, maybe she was right, because I had not yet met Christopher. But if he’s so immature, why was she sleeping with him? She’s wrong either way… And this brief thought is now turning into a long one.
Likewise, Rory did a stupid thing by turning Logan down. Logan has actually been growing. And I thought Rory was, too. But I guess not enough. Not because she’ll miss him. Yeah, she will, but she’ll get over that. But because she had a chance for a great, fulfilling life, accomplishing whatever she wanted. And she turned it down, because she was afraid of committing. Silly little girl.
One more thing: If you want a compelling story about a poor, black woman from… well, not from Chicago. From Columbus, Ohio… Check out Dancing on the Edge of the Roof, by Sheila Williams. Don’t have time to do a full review right now. But you can read some of the reviews at Amazon.
-TimK