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In the episode “A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving,” in reference to Wes Craven.

PARIS: My Thanksgiving is turning into a Wes Craven movie.

RORY: How so?

PARIS: I called shelters to volunteer to serve food. Its Thanksgiving – you’d think they have needs. Nope. Every stupid soup kitchen in town turned me down because they have enough volunteers.

MADELINE: Bummer.

PARIS: I’m on a couple waiting lists, but it doesn’t look good.

In the episode “A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving,” in reference to The Banger Sisters.

MADELINE: This was bad. For the last five minutes, every single thing she said sounded dirty.

LOUISE: Yeah, same here.

PARIS: Good God.

MADELINE: I mean, reticulum? Come on.

LOUISE: Plus, the Golgi body. I mean, is it me or is that majorly pornographic?

PARIS: My life with the Banger sisters. Click to continue »

In the episode “New and Improved Lorelai.”

PARIS: “So you live in your grandparents pool house?”

RORY: “Yeah.”

PARIS: “Aren’t you afraid of sleepwalking into the pool and drowning?”

RORY: “I am now!”

In the episode “It Should've Been Lorelai,” in reference to Harold Pinter.

RORY: Okay, word speed isn’t everything. Sometimes I will add a dramatic pause to prove a point, undercutting my wpm.

PARIS: Let’s not harbor any Pinteresque fantasies here, Rory. We’ll have scant minutes to make our arguments and we have to maximize our collective wpm.

In the episode “It Should've Been Lorelai,” in reference to Willie Nelson.

PARIS: You’re only doing 135 wpm.

RORY: Wpm?

PARIS: Words per minute.

RORY: Of course.

PARIS: That’s slow.

RORY: That’s not slow.

PARIS: It’s Jimmy Bob slow.

RORY: I talk normally.

PARIS: For the average Willie Nelson roadie, yes, but not for a winning debate team member. As a comparison, I speak an average of 178 wpm.

In the episode “Run Away, Little Boy.”

RORY: Tristin got suspended again?

PARIS: Oh, like you hadn’t noticed he’d been gone?

RORY: What did he do?

MADELINE: Took apart Mr. McCaffey’s car and put it back together in the science building hallway.

RORY: You’re kidding.

LOUISE: Yeah, well he didn’t do it by himself. Duncan and Bowman were there too.

MADELINE: Plus the mechanics that they paid to do the actual work.

PARIS: Hey, anyone stupid enough to hand out with Butch Cassidy and the Sun-dunce kid deserves whatever they get.

In the episode “Hay Bale Maze,” in reference to Jake Gyllenhaal.

PARIS: You’re lactose resistant. You have a bias against lactose. You’re sensitive.

DOYLE: I’m not sensitive. I have no problem with lactose.

PARIS: There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive. Jake Gyllenhaal is sensitive. Orlando Bloom, sensitive… I wouldn’t throw Jake Gyllenhaal out of bed.

In the episode “The Long Morrow,” in reference to Charles Manson.

MARILYN: I just want her to get into a good school. She has such potential.

PARIS: Well, so did Charles Manson.

In the episode “Farewell, My Pet,” in reference to Harlequin.

PARIS: What’s with the goony look? Your face, it’s right out of a Harlequin romance.

In the episode “Farewell, My Pet,” in reference to Robert Downey, Jr..

PARIS: It’s amazing. I thought you guys were never going to last… I’m just being honest. I mean, Logan Huntzberger? Between the women and the drinking, that kid was on the Colin Farrell freeway about to pull over into the Robert Downey, Jr. rest stop. Click to continue »