In the episode “New and Improved Lorelai.”
PARIS: “So you live in your grandparents pool house?”
RORY: “Yeah.”
PARIS: “Aren’t you afraid of sleepwalking into the pool and drowning?”
RORY: “I am now!”
In the episode “It Should've Been Lorelai,” in reference to Harold Pinter.
RORY: Okay, word speed isn’t everything. Sometimes I will add a dramatic pause to prove a point, undercutting my wpm.
PARIS: Let’s not harbor any Pinteresque fantasies here, Rory. We’ll have scant minutes to make our arguments and we have to maximize our collective wpm.
In the episode “It Should've Been Lorelai,” in reference to Willie Nelson.
PARIS: You’re only doing 135 wpm.
RORY: Wpm?
PARIS: Words per minute.
RORY: Of course.
PARIS: That’s slow.
RORY: That’s not slow.
PARIS: It’s Jimmy Bob slow.
RORY: I talk normally.
PARIS: For the average Willie Nelson roadie, yes, but not for a winning debate team member. As a comparison, I speak an average of 178 wpm.
In the episode “Run Away, Little Boy.”
RORY: Tristin got suspended again?
PARIS: Oh, like you hadn’t noticed he’d been gone?
RORY: What did he do?
MADELINE: Took apart Mr. McCaffey’s car and put it back together in the science building hallway.
RORY: You’re kidding.
LOUISE: Yeah, well he didn’t do it by himself. Duncan and Bowman were there too.
MADELINE: Plus the mechanics that they paid to do the actual work.
PARIS: Hey, anyone stupid enough to hand out with Butch Cassidy and the Sun-dunce kid deserves whatever they get.
In the episode “Hay Bale Maze,” in reference to Jake Gyllenhaal.
PARIS: You’re lactose resistant. You have a bias against lactose. You’re sensitive.
DOYLE: I’m not sensitive. I have no problem with lactose.
PARIS: There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive. Jake Gyllenhaal is sensitive. Orlando Bloom, sensitive… I wouldn’t throw Jake Gyllenhaal out of bed.
In the episode “The Long Morrow,” in reference to Charles Manson.
MARILYN: I just want her to get into a good school. She has such potential.
PARIS: Well, so did Charles Manson.
In the episode “Farewell, My Pet,” in reference to Harlequin.
PARIS: What’s with the goony look? Your face, it’s right out of a Harlequin romance.
In the episode “Farewell, My Pet,” in reference to Robert Downey, Jr..
PARIS: It’s amazing. I thought you guys were never going to last… I’m just being honest. I mean, Logan Huntzberger? Between the women and the drinking, that kid was on the Colin Farrell freeway about to pull over into the Robert Downey, Jr. rest stop. Click to continue »
In the episode “Farewell, My Pet,” in reference to Judith Butler.
PARIS: Let’s see… Gender Trouble, Judith Butler… It should be here.
RORY: Are you sure this is where you hid it?
PARIS: Of course, I had an Aunt Judy who loved to travel, hence the travel section. Then I used my standard covert alphabetizing system, using the third letter of the author’s last name T followed by the third letter of the author’s first name D. So, it should be right here, after Taben but before Thoreau… Wait a minute. This whole shelf is a mess. Why is Congwen Shen before Tony Griffiths.
In the episode “Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers,” in reference to Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
SUMMER: So, meet me after biology?
TRISTIN: And if I don’t?
SUMMER: You will.
TRISTIN: Oh, yes I will. Ah. To be young and in love.
PARIS: What a shame Elizabeth Barrett Browning wasn’t here to witness this. She’d put her head through a wall. Click to continue »